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Bugs on My Car

I’ve heard that some people like to keep bugs as pets, and there are plenty
of scientists that spend their lives studying the suckers.

But I simply
can’t believe that there is anyone in the world who honestly has a soft spot
in their heart for insects. Those entomologists must harbour some deep seated
hatred that they keep in check by flexing some control over the creatures by
keeping them captive and measuring their organs. It’s their way of lording
over arthropods, and I have a serious hunch that it stems from a genuine
loathing.

Personally, I wear my unconditional disgust for all creepy-crawlers smack
dab on my sleeve. If I run a cross a bug, my first move is to squash that
critter before he gets a chance to dig into my flesh with his stinger or
fangs.

 I don’t care if butterflies are beautiful to some people. When one of
those colourful creatures flies at me, all I can think about is its germy
proboscis slithering around on my skin. I have no qualms about ripping the
wings right out of their bodies when they flitter into arm’s length. But I
don’t discriminate. Be they ladybugs or black widows, I’ll mash any insect I
run across into a wad of sidewalk slop.

But my shoe soles can only do so much work. That’s why I love the massive
front-end of my ’03 F-350. Like Louie Anderson at an all-you-can-eat buffet,
the monstrous grille on my Super Duty simply devours any pest that gets in
its way. Every Saturday when I give her a good washing, I can’t keep track
of all the corpses lodged in the radiator, bumper and headlights. However, I
hate having to stare at the slimy remains of exploded June Bugs and
dragonflies on my windshield. A buddy of mine told me about an amazing auto
accessory: bug avoidance shields.

Apparently, when you mount one of these
onto your hood, it alters your aerodynamics to push the flow of air up over
your roof instead of right into your windshield.

Initially, I was apprehensive about the whole business. I figured that
sending those critters soaring over my roof instead of putting them out of
business with my windshield was too merciful. But the more I started
thinking about it, the more I realized that I’d still be doing my part to
keep the bug population in check. You see, even if I don’t obliterate them
outright, I’m sure that the sheer force of whizzing over my Ford at 75 miles
per hour would do some serious damage. With a snapped thorax, some mangled
antennae, and a clipped wing, I doubt even the heartiest cockroach in the
world could last for long. So after doing some research about bug deflectors
& Weathertech side window deflectors, I picked out a set. The bug avoidance
shield works like a charm, and I really like the side window deflectors.
They allow me to roll down the windows and not have my music drowned out by
wind noise. I like to blast Flight of the Valkyries while I’m out battling
with the bugs. It sounds like…I don’t know. Victory.

Best bug avoidance practices dictate installing
bug deflectors on the hood of your vehicle. And for maximum results I recommend a set of Weathertech side window deflectors.

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